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Mouse shrine

The phrase "To be loved is to be changed" is not reserved only for dirty plushies and greying puppy dogs, but also for my shitty mouse that I've been using for the past 10+ years into the ground.

This page is dedicated to my favorite mouse in the whole wide world, the Microsoft Comfort Optical Mouse 1000.

I've had this mouse since I can remember having a mouse. My first and favorite mouse. I've struggled to figure out when exactly this model was first released, as I've found sources claiming it first emerged anywhere from 2004 to 2010. It was touted for its ergonomic and simple design, usable on both hands. It is a wired mouse, but I like that as it removes the chance for me to lose a USB plug for it. There are no side buttons, just the left click, the right click, and the scroll wheel. Truly, simplicity at its finest.

My mouse was the greatest mouse I'd ever used. It made no demands. It had no confusing buttons that I'd accidentally click and send me asunder from whatever page I was on. It didn't light up. It had no batteries that needed to be changed. It had a delightful heft and dullness to it. Modern-day mice are hollow, lifeless and aggravatingly sensitive. The MCOM1000 is not. It is absolutely the pinnacle of the evolution of the computer mouse. The working man's mouse.

There was a problem, though. I had this mouse for so long that it started to stop working. First, the right click button went. Then, the left click needed extra pressure to click properly. Then, the wire began to tear. However, this was about in 2019, or something like that, I can't actually remember, when they weren't producing this mouse anymore, and resellers only offered it for vast sums of money, didn't ship to Canada, or had run out years prior. I tried other mice, and they simply didn't work like this one did. Spending years drawing with this mouse, I couldn't bear to relearn how to draw with a new, less cool mouse. So, I adapted. Instead of clicking, I used my trackpad. To keep the wire in position, I made a stand out of clay to hold it in place. To continue playing video games, I set up keybinds to avoid right clicking. That went on for several years. I even won a national animation competition with my dear old faithful mouse. It was great!

Eventually, though, it became cumbersome to continue using this mouse. And my trackpad-clicking-technique was starting to strain the nerve in my elbow. I didn't really want the hubris of loving my mouse so much to be the reason I have radial tunnel syndrome, so something had to give.

And that was... buying a new one, in the year 2024, 20 years(?) after it was first released! It would seem that some of them were actually available on eBay the whole time. I don't think it was new, because it came in a cardboard box with absolutely no packaging whatsoever. She was just rattling around in there. But, you know what? It clicks, and its wire isn't snapped, and that's good enough for me.

It's been a good mouse to me. I mounted it on my wall!